I feel a worm wriggling in my head. Coiling and uncoiling at my slightest thought.
Sometimes I feel him plastered to the walls of my skull, begging me to stop.
He feeds on my thoughts. I watch in silent satisfaction as he consumes them. Memories, words, fleeting moments, empathy... he chews on them all.
All those that refused to fade, I know where to dispose of them now.
The back of my head must be pretty congested with all those stray feelings floating around.
Yes, I've locked him in there. And every now and then I stretch open one of the bars and push in some more junk.
Mercilessly feeding him more than he can swallow.
There are times when I feel guilty. He was just an innocent little worm, looking for food.
But the selfish human nature takes over me, and I utilize him.
I wonder why I do it though. The more I feed him the bigger he gets. The more he writhes in obese discomfort. And the more often he wakes me up. Especially when I'm in the middle of an intellectual stupor- a meaningless conversation or situation.
That's when I sit up real straight and try to push him back into his cell. Stop squirming, I order. And then I plead. I understand his frustrations....but he was supposed to deal with mine.
And there I am, my screams silenced by the hustle bustle of everyday life as I struggle to hold him down.
I manage to calm him as I pet his head with selfish concern. Don't fret, I say. I will release you soon.
But I know I won't. My only worry is if he will outgrow my head. My promises are a distant dream.
His prison is too dark for me to be appalled by his pathetic state.
So I just shrug like I always do and turn away.
Away from my own thoughts, emotions and pain.
Because I somehow made them his
And so now they don't concern me
Except when he wakes up.
Sometimes I feel him plastered to the walls of my skull, begging me to stop.
He feeds on my thoughts. I watch in silent satisfaction as he consumes them. Memories, words, fleeting moments, empathy... he chews on them all.
All those that refused to fade, I know where to dispose of them now.
The back of my head must be pretty congested with all those stray feelings floating around.
Yes, I've locked him in there. And every now and then I stretch open one of the bars and push in some more junk.
Mercilessly feeding him more than he can swallow.
There are times when I feel guilty. He was just an innocent little worm, looking for food.
But the selfish human nature takes over me, and I utilize him.
I wonder why I do it though. The more I feed him the bigger he gets. The more he writhes in obese discomfort. And the more often he wakes me up. Especially when I'm in the middle of an intellectual stupor- a meaningless conversation or situation.
That's when I sit up real straight and try to push him back into his cell. Stop squirming, I order. And then I plead. I understand his frustrations....but he was supposed to deal with mine.
And there I am, my screams silenced by the hustle bustle of everyday life as I struggle to hold him down.
I manage to calm him as I pet his head with selfish concern. Don't fret, I say. I will release you soon.
But I know I won't. My only worry is if he will outgrow my head. My promises are a distant dream.
His prison is too dark for me to be appalled by his pathetic state.
So I just shrug like I always do and turn away.
Away from my own thoughts, emotions and pain.
Because I somehow made them his
And so now they don't concern me
Except when he wakes up.
